Published On: 09-25-2006 11:36 PM
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Flapsy-hnnng!

 

Bloji-bloji nogger-weeeeeeb

Shiggy shiggy

Noooooooooooog

 

Hibbly-hibbly

Vartvart Boooooooooooooog

 

Shibbly sog

Jinkyjinky

 

KOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooog

 

Hanhan hooon

Guioguioguio gwarsey

 

Daggly

 

Shhhhheeeeeeeeeek

 

Nidge-nidge

Obly-gogly

 

Naaaaaaaaa.

 

Jibber-jibber frangly-wooo

Shiiinnnng

 

WooWooWooWooWooWooWooWooWooWooWooWoo!

 

Woo.

 

Bollocks

Cock

Piss.

 

Vooooooon.

 

Published On: 07-07-2006 12:33 AM
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Now, while MySpace has the murderers-looking-for-murder-victims niche sewn up, (along with the poignant murder-victim's-site-left-up-as-a-macabre-condolences-book concept.) I have an idea for Zoints that'll knock that into a cocked hat.

Why don't we become reverse serial killers? So instead of abducting and dismembering prostitutes, we could BUILD them. In fact, I've already started: my first whore should be ready to hit the streets by the weekend, as long as the super glue and staples hold...

The same goes for reverse spree killings: we could go out to the nearest mall with AK47s... but not bring ammo. (And if we did, we'd miss.) In fact, we'd not use AKs at all - but be armed with cute puppies we could wave threateningly at people.

And how's this for a novel idea? We could just not kill ANYONE! We could then send coded messages to the newspapers demanding that we be stopped before we're nice to people again. That'll confuse the FBI! We'd be bigger than Manson...

Published On: 06-16-2006 11:03 AM
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There's nothing wrong with cyclists who go off the road and onto the pavement that can't be cured with the forcible anal insertion of their bike.

Published On: 06-15-2006 11:56 AM
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I want a midget for a butler so I kidnapped a toddler and am teaching it to obey me through pain! Soon, I shall have my own version of Fantasy Island! (As long as Social Services don't catch up with me...)

Published On: 06-14-2006 11:13 AM
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I find it a good idea to have an early night and get to sleep before midnight. That way I don't have to listen to the screams and sawing noises from next door at 2am.